Open Letter to the organisers of the Great Ocean Road Ride

(This issue has topical on the Audax-Oz e-mail list. Several people have written letters of complaint about the image on the left, which was used to promote a recreational cycling event. I don't think they go far enough. Here's mine.)

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to complain in the strongest possible terms about the image shown on your website being used to promote the recent Great Ocean Road tour.

Some of the riders in the photograph are riding on the wrong side of the road. Do you have any idea what a bad name this gives cyclists? What example it sets? Never mind that the photo is clearly taken during a race. I am insane with rage, shaking and drooling on my keyboard like a angry shaky drooly person.

I note the cyclists are not riding two abreast - in clear breach of the law. Do you have any idea what a bad name this gives cyclists? What sort of message is this sending to young children?

These riders are conducting a race on a public road. They are following each other too closely. They are blocking the road for traffic. None of the bicycles have bells. Or reflectors. There is no indication that their helmets comply with the relevant Australian standard. None of the riders are smiling. Do you have any idea what a bad name this gives cyclists? WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN? AND ALSO THE ELDERLY? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ALL?

I demand you remove this image, delete any like it from your computers, soundly thrash the photographer, fine the cyclists involved and ban them from riding ever again. If you must depict cyclists then for heaven's sake show them obeying the law as they do in real life. Make sure they are wearing bright reflective clothing and that all races, religions and genders are represented equally. Be sure to include some differently-abled and animal athletes, vegetarians, paroled prisoners and recumbent riders.

This is the greatest outrage I have ever witnessed anywhere ever including the genocide in Cambodia, the invasion of Iraq and the theft of my sense of perspective. Do you have any idea what a bad name this gives cyclists? I call jihad on you. The blood of all cyclists everywhere is on your hands - even those that haven't died yet. A pox on you all. I hope you all get cancer.

With fond regards,

Surly Dave.

5,158km so far this year.