Saturday, June 30, 2007

Tips for idiots.

I rolled out this morning for a lazy 70km ride, hoping to make up on some of the distance I've missed out during the week due to weather and laziness. Also, there's a few folk I know on about the same mileage for the year to date and I thought it sensible to put a little bit of distance between us - purely to help keep them motivated of course.

I had a terrific ride down through Huonville and along the river to Franklin before turning around and heading back up the Huon Highway to Kev's place for a short visit before heading home. The bike felt good, I felt good, the rain held off and I was making good time without pushing it too hard. Even the dreaded STI gears were working fine. I was reflecting on this blissful state when some fool leaned out the window of a passing car and screamed something at me. It sounded a bit like this:


Although I admit I may be misquoting the bloke. I've had my fair share of random idiots yell stuff at me out car windows before. It's always alarming and I can never understand what it is they're saying. What if it's the secret to a long and fruitful life? I've never done this sort of thing, but there's two golden rules I'd set down for people engaging in this sort of behaviour:

1. Make sure you're driving a fairly nondescript car.
2. Make sure the driver isn't going to stop for petrol in the next town.

This guy messed up on both counts. I spotted the white early model ute with one large and one small trail bike in the back pulled up at the BP in Huonville. Sweet. I rolled up to the passenger side and in my best non-confrontational voice asked to the late-teen passenger:

"What was it you yelled at me back there? You were going quite fast and I had a bit of trouble hearing you."

He mumbled something, his eyes downcast.

"Can you please not do that? I'm tired of people yelling and throwing things at me from moving cars. It's very immature."

He protested he didn't throw anything.

And so we went our separate ways. As I rolled out of the service station another motorist who'd watched the exchange gave me a big grin. As for our young idiot? I honestly don't know if he's now more or less likely to do it again.

The irony is that almost without exception the drivers of Tasmania are the most courteous I've ever encountered. Except the truck drivers of course - but I understand that the road is their workplace and that their need to get to where they're going quickly is far more important than my right to be alive.

3,290km so far this year.


Treadly and Me said...

Nice one Dave!

I guess it's too much to expect these kind of nongs to understand that the Doppler Effect renders abuse hurled from a moving car utterly unintelligible.

As for this particular dickhead, my guess is he mumbled "F--ken pooftah!" in your direction as soon as you were out of earshot. Almost certainly a "slow learner" you met up with there.

Mike Dayton said...

Greetings, Dave, I've referred folks to this entry.

Thanks, Mike / Raleigh

Anonymous said...

LOL It seems that same bloke or someone very like him exists around here too. Shame, really.

Glad to hear that drivers are otherwise good to you down in Tassie.

Anonymous said...

This guy and his friends get around. He's been out in the early evenings here in the states since our schools got out for the summer.

Never had the luck to swing by the offender later on the ride and chat though. Hope to some day.

Anonymous said...

We had 3 teenage passengers yell 'something' out the window of a passing early and very ratty EA foulcan. They cought the next lights and when we rolled up alongside only the driver (middle aged european) was visible, all 3 teanagers hiding below window level. We commented on their courage, the light turned green and as he took off they popped up like jack in the boxes and had another go. He cought the next light. I asked the lonely driver (kids hiding again) if he was embarressed to be driving a car worth less than one of my wheels. He didn;t say anything but turned a very bright red while totally ignoring us.
You guessed it, as they took off up came the kids. We didnt catch em again, I had a great line ready about the sort of kids you get if you sleep with your sister :))